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The murk that is my mind!

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Tuesday, February 24th, 2015
11:26 pm - Today
As usual, a fair amount of stuff is going on largely in my head. There's expenditures to balance, stuff to study, other potential job openings and so on and so forth.
I returned all my pleasure reading back to the library, then checked out an introductory book on entomology.
I feel sharp for the most part, but sleep was on the short end this week.
Feeling good about myself lately. I may try that talkingtowomen-thing.
Haven't really been running as of late so my joints are a tad stiff.
My running shoes are at the other house. (I wonder if there's any jumping-rope here?)
I guess that's all for now.
Hypnos approaches.

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Sunday, February 22nd, 2015
10:55 pm - Procrastinating
Otherwise class is going well. It's amazing how school is catching up with me and I've largely been unaware. There's a bit of this English paper that still has a lot to go on it but it's looking good nonetheless. That previous sentence looks weird, but then I am rather sleepy.
March is almost upon me. I'm getting all my homework done and I'm doing good on tests but there's still economic matters that I've utterly lost sight of.
And I have to pay for graduation. I forgot that detail, but I've a few more weeks to go. This has been such a relaxing semester that a month has gone by with me barely even noticing.
Well, tonight I get my shit together on these citations and tomorrow I kick some more ass.
Then I rest for a bit.
Then I kick ass for a week straight.
I can do this.

current mood: apprehensive

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Thursday, February 19th, 2015
3:52 pm - Picking Things Apart
As of this moment it's like 0 degrees outside or something. Honestly, people keep blowing this shit out of proportion. Yesterday was okay, and the day before felt rather pleasant. While it doesn't make Spring seem any closer, I'm sure that such is coming soon enough. I either feel it or am just that hopeful. Even when it's still cold out, the added hours of sunlight are more than enough to cheer me up.
Been picking at my brain a little bit. When trying to look at things a little less objectively, it makes everything I say and do seem a bit stupid and pointless. We're just a bunch of ugly, violent sacks of meat that think we know it all.
In no means to I say this with bitterness in my heart; rather, I say it with scientific amusement. I mean, shit is weird by essence of its very existence. Perhaps I should lay off the books?
No, I've continued reading to do on this paper in which I defend the NSA. Their recent actions aren't exactly helping me on this paper, but this is the challenge that I gave myself.
Been feeling lonely, but this cold weather diminishes any hopes of escaping into the outside life and having too much fun.
I also have another paycheck to wait on.
---
I recently hung out with my friends. It felt good to be amongst others and tell jokes while playing Magic. I needed that very much.

Life is okay.

current mood: content

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Saturday, February 14th, 2015
10:33 pm - I can't believe it took me so long to watch this.

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Wednesday, February 11th, 2015
4:25 pm - Gotta Fix that Computer Already
When OpenOffice gets buggy, you know a fix is needed quite badly.
It's interesting to note sometimes how ancient Livejournal is.
Been getting back into Supernatural. As it turns out, the season I sort of lost interest in was somewhat good, but the earlier episodes were just more on the droll side.
I think it would be safe to say that the arcs were great, but the individual episodes were on the weaker side.
Either way, that show just needs to die already.
There's still good acting, some hilarious episodes and so on; it's just been running a bit too long.
----
It's an okay day. I decided to stay indoors the whole time regardless. I've got this English paper to work on and some economic stuff to consider. This Dance-Fu dvd will just have to wait, though I'm dead set on buying it for my friend sometime this month.

current mood: okay

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Tuesday, February 10th, 2015
10:49 pm - Ya know, it's odd...
...when someone notes that you seem visibly less stressed than how they were used to seeing you.
When I was president of that club, life was a bit hellish. I mean, there's different sorts of stress, and that source liked to dabble a bit.
I ran into this person months ago when I was studying for the DNR test, and was informed that my fleeing from the Language and Culture Club was completely understandable. Some people hit a breaking point earlier than myself. My breaking point was perhaps not as bad. I had as much as I could take, receiving more stress that a stupid optional thing should ever be.
So yes, I suppose the fact that I'm not twitching and don't have to worry about a constant feeling of dread says something.
I should get some sleep now.

current mood: tired

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Monday, February 9th, 2015
9:29 pm - The Day Goes Fast
I haven't forgotten homework just yet, though I still need to make the time regardless.
I ran for 1.5 hours today, with the discomfort I felt near the end just about gone in a matter of hours.
I feel good, or at least good enough.
I was searching and found another potential location for a job, though I would have to move to like Illinois or Southern Wisconsin.
That is, if I can simply jump into hazmat.
My job has a safety fair tomorrow, so I hope to learn a thing or two about Bloodborne* pathogens. I find shit like that awesome all the time.
Much of the day is gone and I have a test tomorrow. I feel confident on everything but the virology chapter. I won't know how easy or hard her tests are until I've taken one, though the hint of one of the multiple-choice questions was painfully obvious.
I mean, when I say saprophytic, you say ________.
....it's fungi.
It really helps that I have a fungi-deck in Magic.
---
A friend from the DnD group I ran is returning from the South, finding that his heart is in this mixed-blessing that is the Midwest. He's on something of a spirit journey himself. Actually, he's more into those than I am. I'd like to find myself, but I know I'm not THAT adventurous. I try and do things within reason.
Just edge out on the comfort zone just a little and maybe I'll be touring Finland by 2017.
---
I'm over Hypatia at this point but I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I miss the relationship thing, as well as the complete thrall I was in at so many points.
I don't really have a basis for comparison, but I know for the most part that I'm lonely.
Granted, I haven't met anyone that I'm interested in.
Granted, I also haven't been getting out as much. I like this quiet methodical life I'm currently leading. The downside is of course that I'm not meeting anyone who will pluck my heartstrings with her very voice.
Perhaps this is for the best. I need to concentrate on school and job-hunting.
And finding a new pair of boots.



___________________________
1. Bloodborne doesn't exist on the spellchecker's dictionary, hehe.

current mood: peaceful

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Friday, February 6th, 2015
4:52 pm - .
Sometimes you want to go running; sometimes your running shoes are at the other house.
Today went well enough, with the munch being a small, yet enjoyable experience.
I think I may swim--the gym is dead on Friday nights. Who would have thought, right?
I'm pretty mellow today but what I said yesterday still holds merit.

current mood: okay, I guess

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12:09 am - Before I sleep.
No munch for me today. I stepped out to the car and felt that 10 degree air and decided that would be the one thing that will stop me from experience things.
I've always been quite the un-adventurous type. Need to to get drunk, to get in a fight, to do drugs, to travel, to get the shit whipped out of me...
to read more books, speak more languages, fall in love.
I have a lot of living to do.
There's another munch tomorrow. It's a start.

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Wednesday, February 4th, 2015
6:10 pm - Thinking...
I've got a million little things going on my head.*
Life has been stimulating to say the least, and I am now typing up someone's homework as a source of money. Not doing his work for him, just typing it so he doesn't have to go about the whole process too slowly.
I have more time than I know what to do with.
I've been fighting a sickness lately. My immune system can knock stuff down in a day or so, but it's bound to re-emerge.
I've been none to right in the head as of late. I think it's the lack of sunlight finally getting to me. I'd find myself at one point or another just feeling the urge to cry for no reason at all. There's this impending sense of doom too, but I'd put the finger on the future for that one.
I'm looking into some other job opportunities. I'm still at some loss as to what I want to do, and certain hazmat jobs I just can't see myself doing. While some like using the addage, "lead makes you dead", I prefer the phrase, "lead makes you retarded".
This brain of mine seems like an unusual thing, something I'd prefer to switch out with a small computer.
I guess it's just a matter of...
I'm losing interest.




________________
1. slight hyperbole

current mood: meh

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Monday, February 2nd, 2015
8:19 pm - An Update
Wisconsin got hit pretty hard with the snow. We got something like a foot and it fell over the course of two-and-a-half days or something like that.
The nice thing about work was the decreased amount of shovelling I had to do. We still got customers.* I still got in some reading on boat engines. Granted, boat engines are a lot like any other engine, so I knew what the book was saying already due to my Air Pollution class that went into a surprising bit of detail on cars.
This semester is a bit easier, and I'm not used to such a relaxed schedule. I've got all this time, whereas before I was cramming information at every juncture.*
For some reason the spell-checker isn't working. My apologies.
Classes are quite good and I am convinced I will love this GIS class, as the teacher is quite the interesting person. The same goes for microbiology.
Jobs, jobs. I'm currently looking into how I might be able to sooner jump into something like crime scene cleanup. You can sometimes make six figures on such a job, with the starting pay being over $30,000 salary.
Life could be better, but it could also be worse. I will probably find myself reading soon till I can pass out. I last hit the gym on Friday, but work usually has me miserable anyway. I can probably swim tomorrow. While the snow is conducive to running and easy work on the joints, it's cold and I'm a bit fatigued. I can't really place it too well. I feel as though I may grow into being a reclusive man
A reclusive man with a boat--a boat house.
Till then I'll get my sleep when I can and maybe also learn my lesson about not eating too much. All that Chinese food at once was a little much, honestly.


________________
1. Maybe around ten families?
2. These junctures were fleeting things, like diaphanous little copepods.+
________________
a. Okay, so copepods are more like staggering or gliding things--give me a break. On that matter, the jar of polluted water I collected so many months ago still has life. I suppose if you can handle that much nitrogen and such a high quantity of poly-chlorinated biphenyls, you should be able to survive anything.

current mood: tired

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Saturday, January 31st, 2015
12:17 am - Catch up, not much.

  • Open office decided to crash or something. So I lost interest for the time being and I'm posting this.

  • I got a great run in today without my ankle feeling like it was going to break. My knees weren't crazy about it, but I'll take the small victories.

  • Making magic decks, but that's more of a nuetral area as far as not getting a lot done.

  • Waiting on a few more college books. Just a couple more days.

  • Not much reading done today. I didn't necessarily burn myself out, but I didn't realize how much I had checked out.

  • I checked out a book on boat maintenence. As it turns out, it's kind of relevant to some of my schooling. It's got a lot on valves and pumps and wiring.

  • Time to sleep.

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Wednesday, January 28th, 2015
10:55 pm - Sleep shall soon claim me.
PHYSICALLY:
My knee locks up as usual, but the amount of motion I get prior to that happening is much better. There is less discomfort, but I feel it still and there's a distinctive click when I unbend my leg.
In addition, today I had to contend with overall muscle weakness and a rather sluggish mind. These days have happened before. Either ease up or increase the coffee, seems to be the answer.

RUNNING:
I ran for about thirty minutes before my left ankle began the hurt too much.
Something that running has taught me is that there's the type of pain that says you're pushing really hard, and the type of pain that says something is quite wrong. This falls into the latter category.
Swimming still seems a viable workout, but biking, swimming and running are three very different exercises. Swimming and biking can help your running, but they're distinct enough exercises where they don't really work as a replacement.

MONETARILY:
I stopped into the bank to try and increase my max limit. That way, buying school books is again an option.

JOBWISE:
I was a little too lethargic to focus on that too well. Fortuntely, my schedule is kind. I should be able to fix up some stuff on that resume, collect some data and find myself applying for jobs by Friday.
At this point I'd work just about anything else. 

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Monday, January 26th, 2015
7:01 pm - A really slimmed down summary.
I probably brought this upon myself with how often I was staying up. The sharp mind and healthy heart from last week is taking some cruel treatment. My appetite has be rather weak as of late, and at one point I even ate some McDonald's. Weird, normally I draw the line there. My throat's been dry, tiredness is upon me and... I'm just not feeling too great.
I'd like to sleep, but despite the lethargy sleep won't come.
English class is already looking quite frightening. I've still some books to buy, but I'm waiting on a paycheck and I'm hoping to tackle the matter of the limit on my credit card. Yaaay for English class.
All the books I checked out... I was hoping to rush these before school started to pick up. It seems it already has.
Amelia is whinier than usual, and I just don't have the energy for that.

current mood: agitated, under the weather

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Saturday, January 24th, 2015
12:17 am - I'll keep the post short and my sleep shorter.
I gotta stop gaming so late at night. Riles me up and is a waste of time.
I was despite that two hour stretch quite productive today. I hit up a munch, in which only two people wound up appearing. I was a little saddened, but given how condusive my current schedule is going to be for the occasional meet-up--or even party--insinuating* myself into the s&m community should go well.
I also tried for running, but found my favored trail became packed and thawed and frozen and thawed until the trails were distinctive lines of ice. I retired from that early, losing hope for a bit.
Then there was something about that short run that had my body flowing and an odd smell, distinctive of a work-out rather than just sweating.
And so I hit the gym and did some swimming.
By gods, do I feel amazing. My muscles are toned, my mind is sharper and my heart beats better.
Physically it was a productive day, even if mentally I didn't work as hard.
I aught to sleep now. I want to wake up early and get in a run, howevever short the time.


________________
1. re-insinuating, I suppose

current mood: Happy

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Monday, January 19th, 2015
4:13 pm - Rainy, Nice
We've had some unusually warm weather, with today featuring drizzles and a reasonable amount of sun given the time of year.
This would be a great day to run were it not painful to walk to fast.
My left knee is bothering me, my ankles get a good dosage of pain when I walk too briskly and my right knee--while better--still locks up.
Work probably managed to damage whatever wasn't already broken.
So today... maybe I'll swim?

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Friday, January 16th, 2015
7:04 pm - Improving
Well, at least my knee is. I ran yesterday till my left knee started bothering me. I had to run in a very reserved manner to keep the other one from locking up.
All things considered, I won't be too angry that I could only run for about forty minutes.
Today I was in a much improved state, but I feel a break from running or swimming today is a bit necessary. Also, my goggles broke.
---

  • I was a bit lazy today, but I'm fairly ahead for Microbiology due to my reading in the past few days.

  • Money is isn't great, but it seems likely enough that I'm keeping this job through the winter. I may be lacking in the hours, but an underwhelming job is better than an overwhelming job for the time being.

  • Once in a while I think about my station in life and I don't feel as great. Whatev's.

----
Thinking back, this past year really was something different. I did learn a few things about myself and also about how focusing on one or two things instead of five is a great thing to do.
Hmm, I should start refreshing on OSHA-based knowledge. I can't take any risks on that Hazwoper license.

And sometimes I wonder if it's still reasonable to want to get a degree in microbiology or something to help me in this road to whatever the hell I'll be doing ten years down the line.
I'm too damn old and I've done nothing so far. I suppose now it the time to glut myself on food and then get some reading in.

current mood: content

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Tuesday, January 13th, 2015
7:23 pm - Beautiful Weather
I will keep this short due to what a bitch it is to blog through a touchscreen.
The past week I got lazy. The weather also got bad enough where I opted out of driving the car. Really, I felt this was necessary. Constant gaming and modifications to my magic decks resulted in quite a bit of disrepair. It took a week, but that was enough; my knee locks up now whenever I bend it. This makes it so flexion from that point requires me to twist my leg at an odd angle when standing back up, lest I feel that patella rub on bone.
I'm back to running and swimming but this may take a while to undo.
----
I've made some progress on reading. I may have somewhere around 6 chapters read by the time I start Micro.
Otherwise life is pretty bland. School books leaves money tight. Some minor purchases may have to be made much after this is done.
I'm considering the appeals of getting drunk. I like to treat my body like a temple for the most part (Wendy's aside), but that's really done little for me otherwise. Who cares about brain cells. Glial cells are plenty and they breed as much. I can afford to lose a couple. It's not as though I've got TOO MUCH rattling around. That being said, I tend to seem better off than a lot of "smart" people that I know. They worry too much.
I used to worry more, but I also wanted to save the world. At this point I care much less as a lot of that burnt out. Just telling someone to turn the lights off when they exit the room is a lot of work.
I just want a stable job and a decent apartment. Activists don't get those luxuries.

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Sunday, January 4th, 2015
10:55 pm - Pretty Damn Lax
We got considerable snow today and the day before. It's surprising we got this far without the cold, but even Christmas was fall-coat weather.
The snow has been perfect for anyone hoping to build a snowman or throw stuff. It's some damn heavy snow, which makes me think that I should really look for stuff on snowboarding now.
---
Reading is going well, money is getting tight....
I really have little to talk about.
I'm probably going to check out some munches in the future. I was reminded rather quickly that I'm not that crazy about s&m. I like it, but I'm not as crazy about it as so many other people are.
I just figure I might meet someone who could be special to me.
Loneliness is having its perks though. It's mostly the added time and the decreased stress. Still, there's an appeal to being in an emotional and mental thrall to someone. It feels great.

current mood: toned down

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Wednesday, December 24th, 2014
12:01 am - Feelin' Sharp
I'll keep it short, but the weather has been beautiful. It was above 40 today and will still be above freezing tomorrow.
I brought out the bike and got some exercise in.
Yesterday I swam, but was reminded of how out of shape finals left me. It really put stress on my shoulder and I was close to dead 15 minutes in.
I love bike rides. They really are a full-body exercise. After an hour of biking my thinking tends to get sharper and my energy levels spike a bit and then stay there.
I haven't been reading. This bothers me. I've been enjoying my time off, but it's usually been on silly games and television.
It's an all-or-nothing law.
I did eat at a little cafe that I have a particular liking for a while back. I measured my expenses and found that I'm not doing to well, but a breakfast burrito wouldn't break bank.
I love burritos.
And I love to sleep. Later!

current mood: level

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