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The murk that is my mind!

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Thursday, May 14th, 2015
10:46 pm - Accumulated Thoughts

  • I have more books I'd like to read over the summer.

  • I'm actually somewhat good at these medical classes. I don't think I could be a nurse, but perhaps a related profession.

  • I was considering training for the academy and using that to increase my chance of getting into forensics down the line.

  • I've had a lot of thoughts.

  • I'm better at the physiology part than the anatomy part.

  • Hm, I do believe I'll go to bed now.

  • I'm tapering off.

current mood: Chicago

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Tuesday, May 12th, 2015
10:38 pm - Summation
One class is finished, and I finished the first day of my lab practical in Micro and despite the slight terror I was feeling, it went quite well. The coffeee set in and I was twitching like a dragonfly. I did the gram stain before the innoculation of my tubes and petri dish, not realizing the teacher recommended we do the gram stain last, given the messiness and tediousness of that process. Because of what a pain it was, my logic was to get it out of the way quickly.
I benefited from my method, especially since I didn't have to crowd around the sink with three other people from my table.
Hell, I was one of the first people in my class out the door!
I finally got the grade for my Portfolio assignment yesterday. I did quite well, and I'll be doing more job-stuff tomorrow.
My Monday class is on Friday this week and an assignment is due this Wednesday for this. Why? Because that teacher is incompetent. Thankfully my schedule this semester had Wednesdays and Fridays open. Otherwise I'd REALLY be going what the fuck.
This is still my easiest semester, but my time could still have been spent better. Jobs and schooling are great, given how they force a certain sense of structure into me.
A lot of stuff has been on my mind as well, but I'll save that for another day.

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Wednesday, May 6th, 2015
10:20 pm - Blech.
Honestly, this was a fairly good day, but I've been rather pooped for most of it.  I assume it has something to do with working out Sunday through Tuesday.
I've been going easy on myself in order to work myself back into a good state, but there was plenty keeping me down for a while. In good news, I've improved my swimming form and I've gotten back into yoga classes.
In bad news, I've been pooped much of the day.
I have much to go over, but until then I just want to say that I am sapped of power.

current mood: tired

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Tuesday, April 28th, 2015
11:51 pm - Best Day in a Long Time
I really don't know all the particulars at this point in the night, especially since I hit the pool a while back, but I realize that this was an all-around good day. I was focused, happy, receptive to learning and classes were enjoyable.
My cough of 3+ weeks is only getting worse. I called to make a doctor's appointment and found that the doctor will be unavailable until next week.
I think my joint and bone problems can also be partially attributed to the shoes I was wearing. I slipped on my Vibrams today for that reason and was reminded of how certain muscles in my legs fell into disuse over time. Nonetheless, it was a break from other orthotic stresses I've been struggling with for months now.
I'll avoid the details, but the important matter lately is that I need to cut down on my coffee consumption. I also have been compelled to cut down on any meat-eating I've been doing. The appeal to vegetarianism has been growing. I don't think I could truly go vegetarian, but cutting down my meat consumption to a few ounces a day and getting my iron and complete proteins largely from another source is still a great dieting choice.
I ate a lot of salad and quinoa today. It was great.
I didn't fit much for running in this week and my stretching has been minimal. On a plus side, I will be going back to yoga tomorrow and I was practicing swimming form today.
1 book down yesterday, another about 10 pages left to go, and Watchmen is making for a great pleasure read.
I have been holding off, as one of my English assignments was doing a portfolio. I want to see if the resume part is good enough to finally email to Clean Harbors.
I've been in the coffee shop a lot lately, which is my favorite station. It's far enough removed from the rest of the concessions department where it's actually pretty enjoyable and well-run. By well-run I mean it's got 2 people max at most given points, with 3 when shit gets hectic.
I've not really been going to any meet-ups as school was a bit intense up until the previous week.
I've had my moments, but I've felt a lot more clarity as of late, as opposed to crushing despair. I've felt slightly more confident around the opposite sex. I've been thinking a bit about my future career paths. I'm surprisingly good at a lot of these classes mean for nurses and the like. Maybe forensics is an option...
Hell, maybe the military is too. I'm all over the place, but it's more of a shotgun blast that a riot grenade.

current mood: okay

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Wednesday, April 15th, 2015
11:41 am - There's a Lot to Cover
I made good use of Spring Break, and I can say with a certain amount of pride that I'm starting to feel a certain level of comfort with everything.
Checking out someone wouldn't really stand out as a part of my day, but I've since realized that I don't feel as lonely as of late. I cannot say that I am not without a great deal of shyness around the opposite sex, but I feel more confident than before. I think, "hey, if I started talking to her it might not be a total trainwreck".  I wind up not talking to her, but I feel less of that terror that I might feel from so much as opening my mouth.
I may run into Hypatia soon. I gotta say, I have no fear of my heartstring so much as being pressed.
It was cool dating another nerd. I've no clue who I'll fall for next, but there's really no rush.
Running is going well. I cannot say that I am in shape, but that hour-long run two days ago still went fairly well. I have a great deal of respect for overweight folks that work hard to lose weight. When you're already skinny and have some hobbies to keep you in shape, it's not too hard to put on some muscles.  This is important to note because I'm starting to push myself more than I have in some time. In fact, though I wasn't feeling great yesterday due to a poor choice in eating and a long day, I went swimming.
Hell, not only did I swim, I swam for a good hour as opposed to my usual forty minute regimen.
I just kept muttering to myself: "You can do this. Five more to go".
I feel sufficiently sore today.
It must be the lactic acid buildup. I think I'll run in a bit to get that out of me.
As for the bad news, my GIS teacher recently passed away. I realize that he didn't teach our class for long before he started getting tremors and have to leave, but he left an impact nonetheless. The guy was undoubtedly experienced in his line of work, and despite the grey hair and pronounced veins in his hands carried a lot of vitality.
It was cancer that took him. It shook up a fair number of students.
The guy was badass, to say the least. He was totally straightforward and taught us quite a bit considering how it's just an intro class. The school lost a good teacher.

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Thursday, April 9th, 2015
11:37 pm - Lately
I haven't got nearly as much done this week as I would have liked, but it's still been productive.
I've met more of the BDSM community and I'm feeling a bit more like I belong.
I might also add that it's pretty damn awesome to get hit on, as that simply does not happen to me enough.
It went from dreary to stormy as all hell.
I prefer the latter, as the rain is soothing and the sky takes on a beautiful tint that eases my mind. If it's just all gray with nothing going on, then I start to feel shitty.
Well, I have stuff to get to now... namely sleep.

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Friday, April 3rd, 2015
10:31 am - Getting Into the Swing of Things
The cold weather is currently keeping me from biking right away, but I'm also compelled to as I know it will only be getting colder.
Swimming yesterday was rather weak, but I had a great run the day before. Fatigue is one thing, but in addition I am still getting back into shape. Again, it was still a great run. I hadn't hit the trail in maybe a month, given that snow and ice and the like made the sidewalk a slightly better option.
I also went to a munch last night. I think I'm still too tired to get into blogging on it. I will keep it simple and say I felt a bit out of place, but the people were receptive. I'll be getting involved with the community more and the weeks pass.

current mood: tired

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Monday, March 30th, 2015
10:24 pm - Summation
Work injuries continue to mount. I really need to get out of this place.
We had one worker sprain her hand on the job and one of the shit managers that makes me hate this place so much kept ignoring the matter of worker's comp.
Now my hips are okay but the ball of my ankle hurts when pressure is put on it, making wearing shoes a bit inconvenient.
On that matter I did buy some work boots to be somewhat proactive. I can't exactly afford to just quit, but I will try and take off for a week just to recover.
Spring break happens this Wednesday. I've got quite the number of things I'd like to do:

  1. Finish reading my entomology book.

  2. Get to the halfway-point in my hazmat textbook.

  3. Watch a few movies, including Pitch Perfect and maybe a del Toro film.

  4. Bike, swim and run.

  5. Go to some munches.

  6. Apply for places, regardless of what the places are.

I know, surprisingly un-ambitious of me.

current mood: okay

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Wednesday, March 25th, 2015
4:39 pm - Today.
-There has been this shooting pain in my ankle the past two days, so I finally remembered to buy some work boots. One thing is for sure, I'm not really sure about running.
-I will have to take one more class to graduate as the class I tried to get out of isn't covered by my current Chem credits.
-Beautiful day, but I liked it even more when it was cloudy. Regardless, it's still chilly.
-Kinda sore and tired, but I only had one coffee for the day up until a half hour ago.
-There are some openings at a few companies for me to apply for.
-I may also watch a movie today. I know it sounds weird, but I have little patience for movies. I much prefer a book.

current mood: tired

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Tuesday, March 24th, 2015
11:52 pm - Procrastinating on Sleep
Granted, I feel like I've a lot of stuff I need to get out of me.

  • I was fairly productive today, but also found time to get back into reading.

  • English is going to get tough again, so I'll need to buckle down on the next few days.

  • Just been thinking about life and stuff.

  • There's a job opening or openings I intend to check out.

  • I feel like watching horror films lately. I don't know why. It's normally not me thing (nor are films in general) but I just sort of feel like doing so.

  • I will be sleeping soon. My thoughts are really slowing down.

  • It was a busy day.

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Wednesday, March 18th, 2015
8:13 pm - Bleeeeeeh
As of this moment I am particularly sick.
Dehydrated and filled with mailaise, I didn't get too much done today.
I feel like I have much to say, but I am forced to keep posting to a minimum as my brain won't allow me to think too hard.

current mood: sick

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Friday, March 13th, 2015
11:59 pm - All Around a Good Day
-It sounds like my Grandma is doing better from the sounds of it. She's being moved to another place today or tomorrow so she can recover some more.
-The weather has been just plain awesome. I ran until I was sore twice this week.
-I bike tomorrow.
-School is going well enough. I wanted to apply to some places today but the day got away from me.
-I made monkfish for the first time. I realize I of all people should have had it before, but the opportunity never made itself obvious until today.
-I found a worm in it. Fucking fascinating. I know it would gross most people out but I merely marveled at it. The little guy was still alive!
-Had some family over, too. That was cool.

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Wednesday, March 11th, 2015
12:03 am - Lot on my mind

-I slept most of Monday away given the burnout I was experiencing. There were some glaring kinks in the format of my paper, so the teacher gave me an extension to fix them.
-A lot is on my mind, so when I found a book titled Quarterlife Crisis I picked it up. I wouldn't know exactly where to start, but I actually picked up a flier for the Navy.
-Did I mention I have a lot on my mind?
-Today my grandmother wound up in the hospital. There's not much news yet.
-I think I'm too tired, but I seem to feel as though she'll be alright. More news on that later.

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Saturday, March 7th, 2015
10:50 pm - Peeved
I don't care how big this gathering is; school comes first.
Alas, that doesn't seem to go through my friends' thick skulls today.
Whatever. I'm just about done and tomorrow I can even get to work early on another assignment or several.
And that's what's important.
Also, I'm physically aching thanks to my job. Zoo Free-day was today, on the first nice day of spring. Running back and forth has really done some damage to me.
I'm too fucking young to have hip and back pain.

current mood: achey

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Friday, March 6th, 2015
9:21 pm - Being Responsible Now
I turned down a night of card-games as I have more schoolwork that needs my attention.
I know I will be happy later, but at the moment I'm a bit disappointed.
At the same time I find myself pleased, as socializing is not my cup of tea these days. Being a troglodyte in front of some shiny square or a good book appeals to me more.
In better news, it will be nice out tomorrow and for the next few days.
I look forward to running.

current mood: sugar-rush

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Thursday, March 5th, 2015
6:43 pm - Stuff to Do:
- I will finish this assignment, then tomorrow I will get a head-start on everything.
- No longer this semester will procrastination give me problems.
- Honestly, I was diligent for streaks at a time, then I'd just sort of lose focus on what I was doing.
- A schedule must be written up so I no longer neglect my duties for studying this OCEA-stuff.
- Still, it's hard to know what to do with my life. Considering my lack of focus, nothing short of Ritalin or other amphetamines will help me realize my potential*.
- Also, be on the lookout for anyone insane enough to date me.
- Also, maybe hit the gym.
- Anyway, I've English to do. Excelsior!

1. Then again, for certifications in the past I'd study so hard it would practically run my life. I should do that more.

current mood: Blind Guardian

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Wednesday, March 4th, 2015
11:58 pm - And Yet I Still Procrastinate.
And for some strange reason I continues to bite me in the ass.
I'll be back to this paper in a minute.
I made progress, I'll be docked a few points but I still intend to aim for that that A, it'll just be docked to an A-.

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Monday, March 2nd, 2015
9:51 pm - Time Goes Fast
POTENTIAL CRAZINESS << I hate elastic waistbands. They're supposed to be great for the obese, but I always feel them choke my intestines. I think I'll wash those checkered pants and sell them to the nearest culinary student.
Damn shame, really. They are otherwise very comfortable and make for great pajamas. >> POTENTIAL CRAZINESS ENDS.

I made some progress on my assignment and then the day just got away from me. I've Tuesday and Wednesday to finish this. I in no way doubt myself, but I really wanted to lessen the load near the end of the assignment, instead of me scrambling.

In all reality, there are people I know who are going through worse right now, so I always feel a bit like a privileged asshole when I complain.
Then again, I feel like we deserve a free pass on relationship woes--I've just sort of burnt through all of mine.
My self-esteem could be greater to be all honest, but what can anyone expect of me? Emotional Immaturity has always been my status quo. I do however intend to crush the living shit out of that till I can be on the save level as everyone else.* That feeling of realizing everything is lost the moment you open your mouth is by no means something that should be common.

Today was beautiful. I would have gone running, but I wanted to focus on school as well as avoid bringing back injuries that are in remission. Tomorrow I may swim, as the weather will make running a bit difficult.

Life goes on.

1. I believe a night of drinking could help with that, but it really should wait. This weather, my monetary situation.

current mood: contemplative

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Saturday, February 28th, 2015
11:44 pm - The Day Went Fast
At the very least, I ran five miles in the gym today. I'm sure I could have run more if the gym weren't about to close.
I've stuck to that treadmill till the weather sucks a little less.
I'm also debating on whether I'll get breakfast at the bagel place before work.
I've been craving a bagel sandwich.
A good breakfast takes time to make, while I full meal elsewhere costs around eight dollars.

I'm losing focus; time to sleep.

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Friday, February 27th, 2015
6:21 pm - All is Well
I hit the treadmill yesterday so that I couldn't use this abysmal weather as an excuse to skip out on running.
I grazed the garage door portal and now my window is suspended with duct-tape. I bought some glue that should do the trick, but it only works at temps above 39 degrees.
This is a problem, but duct tape is working well enough for the time being.
I got my First-Aid and AED training; now I need to take the test.
That's one good thing about my job: free first-responder training.
School is going well enough.
Yeah, so that's about it.

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